I have decided to somewhat limit my smartphone use. I am trying (it's harder than I thought) to not turn it on to check my messages the second I get out of bed. I am not one of those people who has my phone next to the bed at night, it charges in the kitchen while I sleep, but I usually check it first thing in the morning, before breakfast, before everything.
While I may be receiving emails and messages overnight, I am pretty sure they can wait.
I am also notorious for using my phone WHILE doing other things. Often, while watching a movie or TV show, I am scrolling on my phone at the same time. I am on the phone while I eat, and sometimes, I am on the phone while I am on the computer. It's like I never look up anymore.
I am also going to try to put the phone away in the evening and spend the last little while before going to bed without a screen in my face.
I don't plan on quitting it all, I just want to prioritize better and make some changes, so I can be more aware (in general) and more productive.
The medidation project is about just sitting in silence for a while and learn to focus. I used to be able to - I didn't use to be a person who constantly needed a distraction, that is a habit I have formed in the past few years without even realizing it.
It's harder than I thought. This morning, after having breakfast and watching the news and catching myself glancing a Facebook, I decided it was time to give it another try, so I turned off the TV, set the phone to airplane mode and set a timer for 11 minutes. For some reason, I felt that 20 would be too long but in hindsight, I realize that longer is probably more realistic, as quieting the mind takes time.
I thought about writing this.
I thought about my to-do list.
I had a song stuck in my head on repeat.
I heard birds outside. Birds and cars.
But for a few fleeting seconds here and there, I was able to just focus on my breathing and think of nothing else. I guess meditation is like a muscle that you have to train.
-M.
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